Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 7CDB7DEB56 for ; Sun, 13 Aug 2006 09:27:21 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 02620-10 for ; Sun, 13 Aug 2006 09:27:07 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 203.16.214.203 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=203.16.214.203; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net; Received: from smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net (smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net [203.16.214.203]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id A054CDEB50 for ; Sun, 13 Aug 2006 09:27:06 +1000 (EST) Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by smtp3.adl2.internode.on.net (8.13.6/8.13.5) with ESMTP id k7CNQgJg074307 for ; Sun, 13 Aug 2006 08:57:04 +0930 (CST) (envelope-from info@fathersonline.org) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 13 Aug 2006 09:26:26 +1000 Thread-Topic: Journey to Greatness Reply-To: Message-ID: <171a01c6be66$bb62e500$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: Aca+ZrtgVkcSsfWzREOS9/wvP+mVGw== From: To: Subject: Journey to Greatness Date: Sun, 13 Aug 2006 09:26:26 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_171B_01C6BEBA.8D0EF500" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2757 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 12 Aug 2006 23:26:26.0656 (UTC) FILETIME=[BB655600:01C6BE66] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (1832 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 431 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_171B_01C6BEBA.8D0EF500 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 207 - 14 th August, 2006 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Hello Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads=20 * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Warwick =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Many have wondered why the Fatherhood Foundation calls its Fatherhood Mentoring Course 'Good to Great'? Isn't this some sort of overstated hyperbole to rouse men up to attempt the impossible. The truth about 'attempting the impossible' is quite true. To be a truly great (perfect) father is well nigh impossible considering the human condition. Jesus said, "Call no man father on this earth for one is your (perfect) father in heaven." In the next breath he said, "He that is greatest among you will be your servant." I think that he was on to something. The expectations our children have of us are well nigh impossible to satisfy, but that should not stop us from attempting the journey to greatness. =20 In many ways the inspiration for 'Good to Great' came from reading 'Good to Great' by Jim Collins =A9 2001 Random House Publishers. 'Good to = Great' was on the New York Times bestseller list for many years. Having been involved in business development and organisational structures, I have a fascination with the process of management and the reasons behind business success. 'Good to Great' is the best management book I have ever read because it starts with reality and works back. Most management books start with a theory and work forward. Author Jim Collins was bold enough to ask a simple question, 'Can a good company become a great company and, if so, how?" Jim Collins and his 21 research associates examined 1,435 fortune 500 companies. They then narrowed this list down to eleven companies and studied them for five years. These eleven 'super companies' outperformed the market by an average of 6.9 times over a 15 year period. In a corporate sense this is bordering on the miraculous. It is easy to outperform the market over a few years and then go broke in the third of fourth year, but to do it over 15 years is simply amazing. =20 The first thing Jim Collins says in his book after his exhaustive corporate study is that 'Good is an enemy of great!' The same goes for fatherhood. To be a good father is easy. Most men are good fathers. In order to become a great father, one must first decide to abandon just being a good father (or should we say a mediocre father?) in order to be great. Greatness is not a destination, it's a journey. =20 The most staggering thing that Jim Collins uncovers in research on the CEOs of these 'Good to Great' companies is the one common ingredient he found in the CEOs. He calls it Level 5 Leadership. All CEOs of the Good to Great companies were humble men but were also intensely committed to the cause of their companies success. All of them were true servant leaders who gave the credit for their company's success to everyone but themselves. Jim Collins lists many other reasons for corporate greatness, but this is the one that surprised me the most, especially the humility factor. I suppose I should not be surprised. After all the greatest man that ever lived said, 'Whoever among you wants to be great must become the servant of all.' Great dads are intensely committed to their family's success but are also humble enough to admit their own areas of need and failure in order to improve. The fact that you are a weekly reader of fathersonline proves to me that you want to go to the next level as a father - you are on the journey to greatness. Congratulations! Keep up the great work. =20 Lovework =20 Improve your skills as a father. Read a book or do a fatherhood/parenting course. You are never too young or too old to learn. When we stop learning we start to die. 'Good to Great' by Jim Collins is a great book on management and leadership. 'Fathering from the Fast Lane' by Dr Bruce Robinson is a great book for fathers who want to improve their fathering. Remember - Good is an enemy of Great. The ball is in your court! =20 Yours for the journey to greatness Warwick Marsh =20 PS If you would like some inspiration as a father and to find out more about our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course commencing on Thursday 7th September 2006, please consider coming to our information night this Thursday 17th August with Brigadier Jim Wallace speaking on 'Fatherhood, Leadership and the Secrets of Happy Families'. Details are in the 'News & Info' section of fathersonline. We are also pleased to announce that we are offering a Single Dads module in the 'Good to Great' course. Full details can be found in the Single Dads section of fathersonline. Our long term goal is to make these courses available everywhere as funding comes in. =20 Please email info@fathersonline.org requesting the appropriate application form. WM ________________________________________=20 Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is=20 the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in=20 age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician,=20 songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he=20 can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 Speech at Australian Family Association Dinner (Pt1) 5th August 2006 =20 By Frank Devine =20 I speak to you this evening from the apex of the family pyramid. I am a grandfather. This means I saw both 'Superman' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean' during the school holidays. =20 =20 It also means I didn't need to make up my own jokes to start this speech. The world is awash with grandparent jokes. They run the usual joke gamut. =20 =20 I'll start with a couple of the cynical ones. =20 * My grandmother is over 80 and doesn't need glasses. She still drinks straight from the bottle. * An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that and you start to age quickly. * Then there's this bit of modified cynicism from Ogden Nash: Never have children, only grandchildren. =20 An American comedian, Henny Youngman, adapted this by injecting some warmth: If I'd known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. =20 Semi-finally there's one from Dave Barry: You don't really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. =20 =20 However, to make a really strong point about grandparents, let me tell you about our family's favourite video. It's a genuine reality show and only runs about a minute. It was filmed opportunistically by somebody taking family pictures in a park and being distracted by high drama on a pedestrian crossing. =20 =20 The American friend who sent the video to us calls it 'Granny Rage'. =20 It starts with a little old lady pausing hesitantly on the edge of a crosswalk. She may have dozed off a little. A brutish motorist blows his horn at her. Loudly! The little old lady jerks to attention and steps out on to the pedestrian crossing. She is not a fast walker. The driver blows his horn again. The little old lady bangs the front of his car with her handbag. She has a beautifully controlled backswing and a powerful follow through. The impact of her handbag on the front of the car causes the emergency airbag to explode in the driver's lap. The denouement comes in the video's soundtrack. The little old lady resumes crossing the road and you hear her going: "Heh, heh, heh, heh." (http://media.skoopy.com/vids/vid_00782.wmv ) =20 This demonstrates the essential character of grandparents. We are really tough guys. Goad us at your peril! =20 =20 We need to be tough guys. If we are fully engaged in grandparenthood, it probably means we have forsaken the comfort of being cool and risked ourselves in the blazing furnace of marriage. It also means that we have become sufficiently tempered in the heat to cope with the sinew-wrenching task of raising children to adulthood. =20 More than that, we have probably shown sufficient signs of enjoying this central struggle on the battlefield of marriage, for our children to want to have a go at doing the same. I realise this is a rather linear generational scan, and based on a number of unargued assumptions. However, there are several studies indicating that, among the separations divorce brings about, is often the separation of grandchildren from at least one set of grandparents. =20 This is no way to treat kids and grandparents who have put in a lifetime of effort, not to mention sitting through 'Superman' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. =20 ______________________________________________________ =20 Frank Devine is a well known columnist. He has been married to Jacqueline for many years, has three daughters and four grandchildren. =20 ______________________________________________________ =20 The fathersonline is always in need of articles for our Grandads section. The next generation needs to hear from you. How about you put pen to paper and write about your experiences. Please send articles and photos to: info@fathersonline.org=20 or Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 Wollongong NSW 2520 =20 back to top=20 =20 Laughter =20 =20 =20 Now I lay me down to sleep,=20 I pray my sanity to keep.=20 For if some peace I do not find,=20 I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.=20 I pray I find a little quiet=20 Far from the daily family riot=20 May I lie back--not have to think=20 about what they're stuffing down the sink,=20 or who they're with, or where they're at=20 and what they're doing to the cat.=20 I pray for time all to myself=20 (did something just fall off a shelf?)=20 To cuddle in my nice, soft bed=20 (Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)=20 Some silent moments for goodness sake=20 (Did I just hear a window break?)=20 And that I need not cook or clean--=20 (well heck, I've got the right to dream)=20 Yes now I lay me down to sleep,=20 I pray my wits about me keep,=20 But as I look around I know--=20 I must have lost them long ago! =20 back to top=20 =20 Single Dads=20 =20 =20 'Good to Great' for Single Dads by Warwick Marsh =20 The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course for the 21st Century was originally designed for fathers of intact families, to strengthen their relationships and help fathers go to the next level of excellence in fathering. Single Fathers face many challenges, not the least being a 'system' that tends to be very cruel to the male of the species. The Fatherhood Foundation has long recognised the many difficulties faced by single fathers. The variables are immense. =20 =20 On the one hand single dads have total custody of their children when they find themselves widowed by the passing of their wives. These men face a unique set of challenges, one of which is to find female input for their children, whether girls or boys. Children need male and female input and attention in order to receive a good gender balance as they grow up. =20 On the other hand, some lucky divorced fathers achieve a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement - the best way for continued father and mother involvement in a child's life. Sadly other single dads are relegated to every second weekend and half the school holidays. Some are almost totally cut off from their children lives, which is a tragedy beyond comprehension for all concerned. The very complexity of running a course for single dads has prevented it in the past, when we consider the many variables that single fathers face. =20 The Fatherhood Foundation is pleased to announce that there is now a Single Dads Module in our existing 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course. =20 'Good to Great' for Single Fathers will feature a unique session in Week 5 specifically for single dads with Tony Miller, Dads in Distress: www.dadsindistress.asn.au and Barry Williams, Lone Fathers Association: www.lonefathers.com.au Tony Miller has 5 children and is the first to admit that he has made mistakes as a dad, but he is one of the most devoted fathers I know. When I first approached him to speak at our course he said, "Sorry Warwick, I can't do it because that's my week with my son." My brain-wave of giving Tony and his son a bit of a break in sunny Wollongong caused him to reconsider our invitation. Tony loves his children and even though he is separated, his goal is to put them first. =20 =20 Barry William's story is similar. When he was a truck driver he left his job so that he could look after his children when his wife left him. Barry used to shoot rabbits to feed his young family and tried his best to keep his children in relationship with their mother even though he was the primary caregiver. =20 Tony Miller and Barry Williams are just two of the great father figures who are helping the broken hearted single dads of Australia. Many men have contemplated suicide and sadly large numbers have been successful in their choice. Many more would have died had not Tony and Barry sacrificed their own lives and dedicated themselves to helping others. =20 Being a great father is all about sacrifice and going the extra mile for the ones you love. Being a great father is also all about speaking words of encouragement and love to your family in the most difficult times. That's what leadership is all about and 'Good to Great' is all about developing great leaders. We know that distance alone will prevent many single fathers from being able to attend our first 'Good to Great' for Single Fathers at our Wollongong Campus, but perhaps you can help us in other ways. The Fatherhood Foundation does not receive any government funding. Perhaps you can subsidise another father to attend, or maybe you could pass this information on to other single dads who might be interested and able to attend. =20 Whatever the case, let us continue to work together to encourage fathers and make Australia a better place for our children. back to top=20 =20 All you need is Love A Good Husband is a Rare Species by Ellen Connoly Daily Telegraph 6th August 2006 =20 AN Australian study has found what many women may already know: a really good husband is rare. Despite the media image of the "new father'' who shares housework and child-rearing equally, this is not the "grassroots reality'', Sydney University researchers have concluded.=20 While families talk of "equality and choice'' researcher Professor Raewynn Connell said women were still accountable for the housework and the welfare of the children. "The really good husband is rare,'' the study found.=20 The joint university and government initiative, titled A Really Good Husband, surveyed 10 work sites in Australia's public sector over 18 months.=20 It also conducted 107 interviews with men and with women.=20 The domestic situations were diverse, including nuclear families, single parents, couples with two full-time jobs and those with house-husbands.=20 It found that women do most, if not all, of the domestic work. And despite more than 30 years of feminism, women also believed it was their responsibility.=20 One woman interviewed said: "A really good husband is a husband who eases the load.''=20 Another said: "There's never any time, really, which I just have for myself. Still it's what you do, isn't it? My husband, he's very good, helps out a lot.''=20 But it's not all bad news for women. There has been some compromise in most households, particularly those where young men support gender equality.=20 "I do housework. I wash-up and put the washing on at the weekend,'' one man said. "It mightn't be 50/50 but I do contribute.''=20 Kim Jones, 34, is one of the lucky ones. Her husband, Andrew, is a stay-at-home dad who "does everything'' for their two children.=20 "He's incredible. He does the housework, cooking and mother's group,'' Ms Jones, a real estate director, said.=20 The study also sought to answer: how do we get more "really good'' husbands?=20 One respondent was a mother who said she was teaching her sons housework. "I see it as a mother's role to train her sons,'' she said. "Otherwise, you are just perpetuating a nation of male chauvinist whatevers.''=20 back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 =20 Good is the enemy of Great =20 Jim Collins back to top=20 =20 Special Feature Good to Great =20 Excerpt from book by Jim Collins =A9 2001 Random House Publishers =20 Good is the enemy of great. And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great. =20 We don't have great schools, principally because we have good schools. We don't have great government, principally because we have good government. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life. The vast majority of companies never become great, precisely because the vast majority become quite good - and that is their main problem . . . =20 Level 5 Leadership We were surprised, shocked really, to discover the type of leadershi0p required for turning a good company into a great one. Compared to high-profile leaders with big personalities who make headlines and become celebrities, the good-to-great leaders seem to have come from Mars. Self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shy - these leaders are a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will. They are more like Lincoln and Socrates than Patton or Caesar. =20 First Who . . . Then What Confront the Brutal Facts (Yet Never Lose Faith) The Hedgehog Concept (Simplicity within the Three Circles) A Culture of Discipline Technology Accelerators The Flywheel and the Doom Loop From Good to Great to Built to Last back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 ________________________ =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Your email for the latest Newsletter from the Fatherhood Foundation just arrived this morning. I really and truly enjoy stopping whatever I'm doing to read your latest offering. The sacrifice you put into publishing this is well worth it for the results - very relevant, enjoyable and thought provoking articles and challenges to the readers. Congratulations and keep them coming. =20 You are a blessing to all of us readers. =20 Keep on keeping on, with love, Chris=20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Dear God =20 Help me follow in your son's footsteps. After all he did say, 'Whoever among you wants to be great, must become the servant of all.' The only problem is, I hate serving. Couldn't we do it some other way? I mean I would certainly like to keep a little bit of pride. You must know the song, 'O Lord it's=20 hard to be humble'? =20 Okay, if there is no other way, I'll give it a try! back to top=20 =20 Help Us Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.=20 Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund=20 (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558=20 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_171B_01C6BEBA.8D0EF500 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 207 - 14 th August, 2006 Go to our website Here


Hello Warwick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many have wondered why the Fatherhood Foundation calls its Fatherhood Mentoring Course 'Good to Great'? Isn't this some sort of overstated hyperbole to rouse men up to attempt the impossible. The truth about 'attempting the impossible' is quite true. To be a truly great (perfect) father is well nigh impossible considering the human condition. Jesus said, "Call no man father on this earth for one is your (perfect) father in heaven." In the next breath he said, "He that is greatest among you will be your servant." I think that he was on to something. The expectations our children have of us are well nigh impossible to satisfy, but that should not stop us from attempting the journey to greatness.

 

In many ways the inspiration for 'Good to Great' came from reading 'Good to Great' by Jim Collins © 2001 Random House Publishers. 'Good to Great' was on the New York Times bestseller list for many years. Having been involved in business development and organisational structures, I have a fascination with the process of management and the reasons behind business success. 'Good to Great' is the best management book I have ever read because it starts with reality and works back. Most management books start with a theory and work forward. Author Jim Collins was bold enough to ask a simple question, 'Can a good company become a great company and, if so, how?" Jim Collins and his 21 research associates examined 1,435 fortune 500 companies. They then narrowed this li! st down to eleven companies and studied them for five years. These eleven 'super companies' outperformed the market by an average of 6.9 times over a 15 year period. In a corporate sense this is bordering on the miraculous. It is easy to outperform the market over a few years and then go broke in the third of fourth year, but to do it over 15 years is simply amazing.

 

The first thing Jim Collins says in his book after his exhaustive corporate study is that 'Good is an enemy of great!' The same goes for fatherhood. To be a good father is easy. Most men are good fathers. In order to become a great father, one must first decide to abandon just being a good father (or should we say a mediocre father?) in order to be great. Greatness is not a destination, it's a journey.

 

The most staggering thing that Jim Collins uncovers in research on the CEOs of these 'Good to Great' companies is the one common ingredient he found in the CEOs. He calls it Level 5 Leadership. All CEOs of the Good to Great companies were humble men but were also intensely committed to the cause of their companies success. All of them were true servant leaders who gave the credit for their company's success to everyone but themselves. Jim Collins lists many other reasons for corporate greatness, but this is the one that surprised me the most, especially the humility factor. I suppose I should not be surprised. After all the greatest man that ever lived said, 'Whoever among you wants to be great must become the servant of all.' Great dads are intensely committed to their family's success but are also humble enough to admit their own areas of need and failure in order to improve. ! The fact that you are a weekly reader of fathersonline proves to me that you want to go to the next level as a father - you are on the journey to greatness. Congratulations! Keep up the great work.

 

Lovework

 

Improve your skills as a father. Read a book or do a fatherhood/parenting course. You are never too young or too old to learn. When we stop learning we start to die. 'Good to Great' by Jim Collins is a great book on management and leadership. 'Fathering from the Fast Lane' by Dr Bruce Robinson is a great book for fathers who want to improve their fathering. Remember - Good is an enemy of Great. The ball is in your court!

 

Yours for the journey to greatness

Warwick Marsh

 

PS If you would like some inspiration as a father and to find out more about our 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course commencing on Thursday 7th September 2006, please consider coming to our information night this Thursday 17th August with Brigadier Jim Wallace speaking on 'Fatherhood, Leadership and the Secrets of Happy Families'. Details are in the 'News & Info' section of fathersonline. We are also pleased to announce that we are offering a Single Dads module in the 'Good to Great' course. Full details can be found in the Single Dads section of fathersonline. Our long term goal is to make these courses available everywhere as funding comes in.

 

Please email info@fathersonline.org  requesting the appropriate application form. WM

 ________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

 

 

Speech at Australian Family Association Dinner (Pt1)

5th August 2006

By Frank Devine

 

I speak to you this evening from the apex of the family pyramid.  I am a grandfather.  This means I saw both 'Superman' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean' during the school holidays. 

 

It also means I didn't need to make up my own jokes to start this speech.  The world is awash with grandparent jokes.  They run the usual joke gamut. 

 

I'll start with a couple of the cynical ones.

 

*     My grandmother is over 80 and doesn't need glasses.  She still drinks straight from the bottle.

*    An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.  Anything longer than that and you start to age quickly.

*     Then there's this bit of modified cynicism from Ogden Nash: Never have children, only grandchildren.

 

An American comedian, Henny Youngman, adapted this by injecting some warmth: If I'd known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first.

 

Semi-finally there's one from Dave Barry: You don't really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. 

 

However, to make a really strong point about grandparents, let me tell you about our family's favourite video. It's a genuine reality show and only runs about a minute.  It was filmed opportunistically by somebody taking family pictures in a park and being distracted by high drama on a pedestrian crossing.

 

The American friend who sent the video to us calls it 'Granny Rage'.

 

It starts with a little old lady pausing hesitantly on the edge of a crosswalk.  She may have dozed off a little. A brutish motorist blows his horn at her.  Loudly! The little old lady jerks to attention and steps out on to the pedestrian crossing. She is not a fast walker.  The driver blows his horn again.  The little old lady bangs the front of his car with her handbag.  She has a beautifully controlled backswing and a powerful follow through.  The impact of her handbag on the front of the car causes the emergency airbag to explode in the driver's lap.  The denouement comes in the video's soundtrack.  The little old lady resumes crossing the road and you hear her going: "Heh, heh, heh, heh." (http://media.skoopy.com/vids/vid_00782.wmv )

 

This demonstrates the essential character of grandparents.  We are really tough guys.  Goad us at your peril!  

 

We need to be tough guys. If we are fully engaged in grandparenthood, it probably means we have forsaken the comfort of being cool and risked ourselves in the blazing furnace of marriage.  It also means that we have become sufficiently tempered in the heat to cope with the sinew-wrenching task of raising children to adulthood.

 

More than that, we have probably shown sufficient signs of enjoying this central struggle on the battlefield of marriage, for our children to want to have a go at doing the same.  I realise this is a rather linear generational scan, and based on a number of unargued assumptions.  However, there are several studies indicating that, among the separations divorce brings about, is often the separation of grandchildren from at least one set of grandparents.

 

This is no way to treat kids and grandparents who have put in a lifetime of effort, not to mention sitting through 'Superman' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean'.

 

______________________________________________________

 

Frank Devine is a well known columnist.  He has been married to Jacqueline for many years, has three daughters and four grandchildren.

 

______________________________________________________

 

The fathersonline is always in need of articles for our Grandads section.  The next generation needs to hear from you.  How about you put pen to paper and write about your experiences.  Please send articles and photos to:

info@fathersonline.org

or

Fatherhood Foundation

PO Box 440

Wollongong  NSW  2520

 

back to top

Laughter


 

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family riot
May I lie back--not have to think
about what they're stuffing down the sink,
or who they're with, or where they're at
and what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself
(did something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed
(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)
And that I need not cook or clean--
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know--
I must have lost them long ago!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

back to top

Single Dads

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'Good to Great' for Single Dads

by Warwick Marsh

 

The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course for the 21st Century was originally designed for fathers of intact families, to strengthen their relationships and help fathers go to the next level of excellence in fathering.  Single Fathers face many challenges, not the least being a 'system' that tends to be very cruel to the male of the species.  The Fatherhood Foundation has long recognised the many difficulties faced by single fathers.  The variables are immense. 

 

On the one hand single dads have total custody of their children when they find themselves widowed by the passing of their wives.  These men face a unique set of challenges, one of which is to find female input for their children, whether girls or boys.  Children need male and female input and attention in order to receive a good gender balance as they grow up.

 

On the other hand, some lucky divorced fathers achieve a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement - the best way for continued father and mother involvement in a child's life.  Sadly other single dads are relegated to every second weekend and half the school holidays.  Some are almost totally cut off from their children lives, which is a tragedy beyond comprehension for all concerned.  The very complexity of running a course for single dads has prevented it in the past, when we consider the many variables that single fathers face.

 

The Fatherhood Foundation is pleased to announce that there is now a Single Dads Module in our existing 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course.

 

'Good to Great' for Single Fathers will feature a unique session in Week 5 specifically for single dads with Tony Miller, Dads in Distress: www.dadsindistress.asn.au  and Barry Williams, Lone Fathers Association: www.lonefathers.com.au   Tony Miller has 5 children and is the first to admit that he has made mistakes as a dad, but he is one of the most devoted fathers I know.  When I first approached him to speak at our course he said, "Sorry Warwick, I can't do it because that's my week with my son." My brain-wave of giving Tony and his son a bit of a break in sunny Wollongong caused him to reconsider our invitation.  Tony loves his childr! en and even though he is separated, his goal is to put them first. 

 

Barry William's story is similar.  When he was a truck driver he left his job so that he could look after his children when his wife left him.  Barry used to shoot rabbits to feed his young family and tried his best to keep his children in relationship with their mother even though he was the primary caregiver.

 

Tony Miller and Barry Williams are just two of the great father figures who are helping the broken hearted single dads of Australia.  Many men have contemplated suicide and sadly large numbers have been successful in their choice.  Many more would have died had not Tony and Barry sacrificed their own lives and dedicated themselves to helping others.

 

Being a great father is all about sacrifice and going the extra mile for the ones you love.  Being a great father is also all about speaking words of encouragement and love to your family in the most difficult times.  That's what leadership is all about and 'Good to Great' is all about developing great leaders. We know that distance alone will prevent many single fathers from being able to attend our first 'Good to Great' for Single Fathers at our Wollongong Campus, but perhaps you can help us in other ways.  The Fatherhood Foundation does not receive any government funding.  Perhaps you can subsidise another father to attend, or maybe you could pass this information on to other single dads who might be in! terested and able to attend.

 

Whatever the case, let us continue to work together to encourage fathers and make Australia a better place for our children.

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All you need is Love

A Good Husband is a Rare Species

by Ellen Connoly

Daily Telegraph 6th August 2006

AN Australian study has found what many women may already know: a really good husband is rare.

Despite the media image of the "new father'' who shares housework and child-rearing equally, this is not the "grassroots reality'', Sydney University researchers have concluded.

While families talk of "equality and choice'' researcher Professor Raewynn Connell said women were still accountable for the housework and the welfare of the children.

"The really good husband is rare,'' the study found.

The joint university and government initiative, titled A Really Good Husband, surveyed 10 work sites in Australia's public sector over 18 months.

It also conducted 107 interviews with men and with women.

The domestic situations were diverse, including nuclear families, single parents, couples with two full-time jobs and those with house-husbands.

It found that women do most, if not all, of the domestic work. And despite more than 30 years of feminism, women also believed it was their responsibility.

One woman interviewed said: "A really good husband is a husband who eases the load.''

Another said: "There's never any time, really, which I just have for myself. Still it's what you do, isn't it? My husband, he's very good, helps out a lot.''

But it's not all bad news for women. There has been some compromise in most households, particularly those where young men support gender equality.

"I do housework. I wash-up and put the washing on at the weekend,'' one man said. "It mightn't be 50/50 but I do contribute.''

Kim Jones, 34, is one of the lucky ones. Her husband, Andrew, is a stay-at-home dad who "does everything'' for their two children.

"He's incredible. He does the housework, cooking and mother's group,'' Ms Jones, a real estate director, said.

The study also sought to answer: how do we get more "really good'' husbands?

One respondent was a mother who said she was teaching her sons housework.

"I see it as a mother's role to train her sons,'' she said. "Otherwise, you are just perpetuating a nation of male chauvinist whatevers.''

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Thought of the Week

Good is the enemy of Great

 

Jim Collins

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Special Feature


Good to Great

Excerpt from book by Jim Collins © 2001 Random House Publishers

 

Good is the enemy of great.

And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great.

 

We don't have great schools, principally because we have good schools.  We don't have great government, principally because we have good government.  Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.  The vast majority of companies never become great, precisely because the vast majority become quite good - and that is their main problem . . .

 

Level 5 Leadership

We were surprised, shocked really, to discover the type of leadershi0p required for turning a good company into a great one.  Compared to high-profile leaders with big personalities who make headlines and become celebrities, the good-to-great leaders seem to have come from Mars.  Self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shy - these leaders are a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will.  They are more like Lincoln and Socrates than Patton or Caesar.

 

First Who . . . Then What

Confront the Brutal Facts (Yet Never Lose Faith)

The Hedgehog Concept (Simplicity within the Three Circles)

A Culture of Discipline

Technology Accelerators

The Flywheel and the Doom Loop

From Good to Great to Built to Last

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News & Info

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

________________________

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Your email for the latest Newsletter from the Fatherhood Foundation just arrived this morning.  I really and truly enjoy stopping whatever I'm doing to read your latest offering.  The sacrifice you put into publishing this is well worth it for the results - very relevant, enjoyable and thought provoking articles and challenges to the readers. 

Congratulations and keep them coming. 

You are a blessing to all of us readers.

 

Keep on keeping on, with love,

Chris

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

 

 

 

Dear God

 

Help me follow in your son's footsteps.

After all he did say,

'Whoever among you wants to be great,

must become the servant of all.'

The only problem is, I hate serving.

Couldn't we do it some other way?

I mean I would certainly like to keep
a little bit of pride.

You must know the song, 'O Lord it's
hard to be humble'?

 

Okay, if there is no other way,

I'll give it a try!

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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